In relationships people argue, discuss and sometimes fight verbally. Yet, how often do you feel like you lost and have to compromise in an argument that you did not want to compromise. Your partner should probably order their own plate, now your stuck in an argument about how they always steals from your plate. That is were you shouldn't compromise like right now an Ex now knows were she went wrong. So how do you argue correctly, let me break it down in three ways.
First it is not you against me. It is always us against the problem. I had an Ex lets call her Ramen. If your new to my blog be aware that I change the names of my execs or other to that of food. She could not argue if her life depended on it because she treated everything as a me-against-you-argument. Like I told her I am not into freaky stuff like I am not going to let you eat food from my plate. Why do you think I asked her if she wants anything or and she is not allowed to take even a taste of my plate. My plate is not a restaurant. This not a me against you fight to have this is a lets solve the situation that you are hungry argument. It is about finding a solution for both of us. This attitude is pervasive through out the entirety of all of our arguments. That is not how you are supposed argue. That is not how its supposed to work.
That is how life works, because after you had a heavy weight fight with life itself you just want to get back to your corner and get some advice on how to solve the problem. You are not planning to have to go into another fight in your corner, like an Englishman in an Irish pub. It is all about being constructive problem solving.
Second is be straight forward about how you feel and what made you feel that way. It is about making your position clear. When I first met Ramen she would say one thing such as "leave me alone". I would leave her alone and start heading out. Then I am half way to my house after our argument. She was angry and ranting about a lot of stuff at me not with me. I was simply told to leave her alone I did and left. So she calls me like 15 minutes later and asks where did I go; I simply said home, because according to her I was going on her nerves 15 minutes ago. She then asked me the question which made me feel like I hit a miles stone as a dating young person she asked me "You actually left?". If you do not communicate what is wrong how can you expect to solve the problem. A blind chicken might get lucky once but do not make the blind chicken a status quo. In this case she did not want to state what her position is. It is important that you state your positions so that you can open your eyes and move away from being a blind chicken. In her case she did not make it clear what her position is and what she wanted me to do.
Third is to compromise. Every relationship in which one party does not compromise is doomed. Like every relationship Tom Cruise has been in. He did not want anyone to get between him and his struggling-actor-cult. Only if you compromise the relationship will improve just like Kanye compromised with Kanye to have a little polygamous relationship with himself and Kim Kardashian West. I should know because I compromised to stop Ramen in her track and go solo for a while. In this case I was tired of her not willing to compromise and me having to give in 80% of the time to keep her happy. If you can not compromise it is better to walk away. Giving in an argument does not mean you are weak. It is important for you to recognize it is important to give in and take. They are people who will say that relationships are uneven and yes they are. Yet, you should always willing to compromise even if you are the dominant personality in the relationship. Ramens unwillingness to compromise is what motivated me to leave. Another relationship I was we compromised and it worked out well but we were not on the same page on the constructive problem solving.
To summarize it is important to be on the same page, be constructive when arguing and compromise.
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